Like so many others, I am in shock today. Gil, I know that in the coming weeks you are going to hear many stories about how monumental Gary was, how our hearts are broken and our minds in disbelief, how he changed lives for the better, championed work that made the world better and mentored and helped his students beyond the call of a teacher or supervisor.
Gary started teaching at UCT the same year I started as student. We often joked that we had both been at UCT for the same number of years. I experienced his entertaining lectures which made computer science cool and enthralling. And, eventually, I got to work with him in the CVC lab and the ICT4D Center. During this time I learned that he was not only a brilliant teacher, but a sincere and humble mentor who always downplayed his role in projects and lavished credit on his students wherever possible. Knowing Gary personally, altered my course and I am certain that I would not have graduated earlier this year without his support, encouragement and personal investment. That’s what Gary did, he invested personally in his students; he cared about the work we did but seemed to care even more about ensuring that we were learning things that would serve us in life beyond the lab. And he made an effort really know us – the braais at his house, picnics, and the outings to buy lab furniture, grab KFC or a coffee. He made our lab feel like a family and, I think I speak for most of us when I say, that he was a father figure to us. Even after students left the lab he stayed in touch. This year he supported and gave me advice as I figured out what path to take post-graduation. He sent me good luck messages for my new job, we chatted about a possible visit to Seattle, we wrote a paper together over e-mail and when it was finished he told me that I had matured as a researcher over the last few years. You can’t know how much it meant to have Gary say that to me and stay in touch with me.
I have many memories of just having great chats with Gary – he was a great advice giver! But I have two especially treasured memories.
Gary and I we were sitting in the ICT4D center, shortly after it opened. I was grappling with the idea that in a year or so I would be leaving Cape Town indefinitely to live in Seattle. I was having a hard time with it, with the uncertainty of it. Gary told me the story of how he was happy living in the UK only to have the path he thought was on turned upside down unexpectedly. He ended up moving to Zambia, then South Africa, uncertain of how things would turn out for him. He told me about how this was a scary time for him, how he felt that the life he was comfortable with was gone and instead he had all this uncertainty and very real possibility of failure. But, that at some point he decided “If I’m going to make this move, I have to make it, I have to commit to it fully and really make a go of it!”. I think we can all agree that Gary made it work and UCT, SA, Africa and the HCI and ICTD communities are immensely fortunate that he did! He told me that if I was moving to a new place, to give myself two or three years and really commit to building a new life fully, treat it as if there is no other option but to make it work. In the past two years since I made the move, I’ve returned to that conversation often – used it to encourage myself, used Gary’s life as an example of what amazing things are possible if you commit fully.
Another time, I had just finished running my last study at the District Six Museum. I had set up a temporary exhibit and Gary came to see it before it was taken down. He suggested that we have coffee after. We went to Deluxe coffee just off Long Street. He informed me that their lattes were amazing. There was no space inside the coffee bar, so we sat on little wooden benches out on the pavement and chatted. Somehow the conversation turned to having children. I told Gary that the idea of having kids is pretty scary to me. He looked off into the distance and said the idea of having children used to be scary to him too and that he used to think he would be fine not having any and living “hedonistically”, just he and Gil. Then he said that having Jake and Holly had its challenges, but they had given his life true meaningfulness. That he and Gil had had so many adventures together already and having kids was the logical next adventure to embark on together. And that even if his work was all “rubbish” at least he knew he had built this family and that it was a really amazing achievement. Then I’m pretty sure he told a joke about looking after them as babies. His family meant the world to him, he was open about the fact that he loved Gil deeply, and was so proud of and in love with Jake and Holly.
Building family seemed to come naturally to Gary, at home and in a larger sense; he made a family of every student he supervised, or even interacted with, and his collaborators. We have not lost a teacher, supervisor or research collaborator as much as we have lost a family member.
Gil, Holly and Jake, as part of the research family Gary built, know that we are all praying for you, grieving with you and ready to help you in any way you need at all.
Ilda
