Monday, January 27, 2014

From Jenny Kirsten

My teenage son and I happened to be at Glencairn beach the day Gary passed away. I realise in hindsight this wasn’t a ‘chance’ happening. Sometimes in life, one experiences events and people that touch you and change you on a soul-level forever. This was one of those times.

We were sitting on the beach very close to where the Marsden family were. We did not know the family at all at that stage. While my son was swimming, I noticed Gil and her dad in the sea - they were boogie-boarding like a pair of happy teenagers. Gil even did handstands in the water, and I remember thinking how beautiful it was to see people having such fun. At one point, Gil’s dad was helping her mum stand in the shallows with her walking aid, and I could see something special about these people. When Gil and her dad had finished their boogie-boarding, Gil’s mum was taking photos of them in the shallow surf, and then Gary joined in taking photos too. It was simply lovely to see a family like this.

Not long after that, Gary experienced his tragic heart attack on the beach. The events were a blur for everyone, but I want to highlight what was so incredibly amazing during that time, and how the right people were there at the right time for Gary, Gil and their family. I hope that in some way this helps everyone to know that Gary received the most incredible care, and that everything that could possibly have been done to save him, was in fact done.

The things that stood out for me:

The family called out for help, and within moments three men appeared from different directions, and started CPR on Gary. One of these was a young off-duty lifeguard (who happened to be sitting nearby), and he knew exactly what to do. The other men did too. They administered CPR unceasingly and valiantly until the medics arrived, and continued to assist the medical team thereafter. I have never seen such commitment from a group of ‘strangers’ and such determination to save a life. These guys were unbelievable. They would not give up.

Two ambulances came, plus another medical team, and an off-duty medic from Cape Medical Rescue arrived. Every individual gave 100%. The off-duty medic was exceptional in taking charge of the situation, and he calmly and professionally coordinated the efforts to try save Gary. They tried everything medically and humanly possible, under that umbrella.

Gil was the most unbelievable pillar of strength throughout everything. She remained calm and courageous, and she prayed. She even stood holding Gary’s drip at one stage. I have never witnessed such faith and courage in such a traumatic situation in my life. She is such a beautiful soul, and we so wanted things to turn out differently for her and the children.

Despite their deep shock at what was unfolding, Gil’s parents huddled together with her, and they prayed together.  The grandmother of the lifeguard who was helping with the CPR, took me aside and put her arms around me and said: ‘Come, let us pray together.’

Other folks on the beach stood back respectfully, but lovingly enquired if there was progress. There was such concern on that beach.

The whole team working on the rescue continued their efforts non-stop for over an hour… It was hot and humid, and the physical demands of performing extended CPR must have been exhausting. Yet there was such commitment to saving this special life.

When the young medic approached Gil with the very difficult task of telling her that they had done all they could, he did so with such gentleness and compassion. Gil could not have had a kinder person helping her. He introduced himself, he called her “ma’am” and even apologised to Gil for being dressed in casual clothes as he was off-duty, bless him. He said they would try for another few minutes - they in fact continued for yet a further 10 minutes. They were phenomenal.

Once the rescue efforts had been concluded, Gil gathered the entire rescue team, and those of us who were supporting her, into a large circle on the beach. Everyone linked arms and Gil bravely proceeded to thank everyone for what they had done for her husband. She looked directly at us all and asked that God’s blessing and peace be with us, and that if anyone was struggling to understand what had happened, that God would help them through it. There wasn’t a dry eye in the whole circle.

This desperately sad day was also one characterised by the most moving display of human goodness. Gil even said that there were so many angels on the beach when they were needed.

Her closing words to me as we hugged and said goodbye, were: “May God’s peace come into you and always be with you.” You gave me God’s peace that day, Gil, and it is still with me. Bless you and your family, and bless the memory of Gary.

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